


Side by Side

by Bill_Custard



Series: The Jamie Shepard Collection [4]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Citadel Council, Crimes & Criminals, Destroy Ending, Future, Krogans, M/M, Other, Politics, Rescue, Salarians
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2020-06-25 20:10:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19752964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bill_Custard/pseuds/Bill_Custard
Summary: Two decades after the defeat of the reapers, companies and politics, capitalism and the Citadel Council, have brought the galaxy to the brink of another war. The signs are there, yet no one is ready to believe it yet.There are a few who get it, though. Kaidan is smart, and Shepard has been disappointed by these people enough to know them. Garrus, Tali and, of course, the Shadow Broker, can see it too.At the same time, an old friend has re-emerged.Though both not exactly at their physical peak any more, Jamie Shepard and Kaidan Alenko decide to embark on yet another mission together.***I'm sorry I haven't updated this in a while, but I will finish it eventually, I promise! I just started too many at once and now this one has to wait - but since it's my personal favourite, it would break my heart not to get to all the awesome shit I've planned some day in the (hopefully near) future.





	1. The Menagerie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one in which I'm being a dick to one of my favourite characters.

Derin Joans was very happy with the mission so far. They had gotten away from the salarian homeworld without trouble (he suspected the involvement of a certain scientist who had sold his cargo) and they were finally out of Alliance space and could continue without threat of being stopped. His ship was disguised as just another cargo ship, but the cargo he was usually carrying was highly illegal. Especially the one he was carrying this time. It was probably the most valuable thing he had ever smuggled. 

He looked around the bridge. It seemed like there wasn’t much to do now. “You guys can take care of the ship for a couple of minutes without me, right?”, he asked. 

“Seriously, Boss, we’ve been working together for years now,” the pilot snarled.

“I’m going to look in on the cargo.”

“Have fun,” the Pilot yelled after him, “I hear he’s not the talkative type.”

He went down to the cargo bay and opened the secret compartment behind the medical supplies he was carrying as a decoy. This compartment was the real deal. 

Next to some of the more infamous weapons of the galaxy (amongst other things, he was carrying Collector rifles and Claymores, left from the big war) there were several artefacts. One ancient human painting showing water lilies. A turian statue – he never understood why they found these round shapes so amazing, but hey, the people who wanted the stuff were paying very well. A couple of statues from Thessia – stuff that had exponentially grown in value since the war.

And then, there was the cage. The deal of his lifetime. This thing was making him rich, richer than he could ever have imagined. He’d be living like a king for the next couple of months on Omega. How could one… guy? alien? bug? something? be this valuable?

He looked at the thing. It was tall, if it were standing it would probably tower over him quite a bit. It was sitting on the floor though, legs crossed, it’s four eyes closed. It was dressed in ragged reddish… armor? Or was this part of its body? It did seem like it was covered in chitin mostly, maybe the armor was natural…

It was by far the weirdest alien Derin Joans remembered ever seeing. Not including Hanar, maybe. The weirdest humanoid. It was shimmery greenish grey, like a bug, with a gigantic segmented head plate and four eyes. It had weird notches instead of nostrils in the lower part of his face, which was turning from greenish grey to white. Its mouth was very broad and seemed to be twisted in a constant expression of disdain.

Was it sleeping? Like this, sitting up? Or maybe hibernating?

He knocked on the glass. The alien didn’t respond.

“What are you?”, he asked. The fact that it completely ignored him made him even more interested.

“I’ve never transported anything as valuable as you are. They say you’re the only one. What are you?” It didn’t even open its eyes.

“Come on”, Derin Joans said, “I know you understand me. They told me you speak English. Talk to me. Do you have everything you need? I don’t want you to die before we reach Taraxippus 5 because of… I don’t know, wrong environmental conditions or something.”

He knocked against the glass again. “Look, I even gave you something. You have information now. We are going to Taraxippus 5. You are going to be the price of Mr Princes famous collection. Aren’t you looking forward to it?

The thing still ignored him. Well, it had had its chance. He started walking away, but with a sudden rush of anger, he turned around and kicked the glass, hard. It was a very loud bang. The creature didn’t even flinch.

~~~

“Mr Prince?” 

He pulled his visor up. He’d been this close. What kind of a cretin was disturbing him during his hunt, chasing off all the pyjaks? The pyjaks he had released into this part of Melpomene, the lushest continent of Taraxippus 5, were the creation of a dear old friend. Genetically engineered to be smarter, more careful, and even a little bit dangerous, with their minor biotic powers. Small and agile, they were the perfect species to be hunted. Especially these ones, because you really had to work at it. And now, after tracking them for hours, this idiot had spooked them.

“What”, he growled, turning around, rifle still in firing position. Flinching from the barrel of his rifle was one of his batarian slaves. Prince found the concept of batarian slaves hilarious, that’s why he put up with their stumbling and imbecility. Maybe he’d involve this one into a fun game tonight. How long could he possibly run away from a varren? He looked the guy over. The fun would probably be done in 20 seconds. He would have to take the three legged old varren.

The batarian bowed deeply. “I… I’m very sorry to disturb you, my Prince, very sorry indeed, but you told us to alert you as soon as the cargo arrived. It will be at your menagerie in 20 minutes.”

Prince sighed. The guy had done everything right. How boring.

“Couldn’t you have sent a message? I don’t like being disturbed during my hunt.”

Panic was rising up in the batarian’s eyes, and he bowed again before stammering, stambling over his words: “I’m very sorry… very sorry indeed, my Prince, but you specifi… specifically told us to - to send someone out. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. So, so sorry.”

Prince left his rifle pointed at the batarian’s forehead, enjoying the fear on his face, drinking in every aspect of his agony. It was delicious, he could almost taste it. This fear in other people’s eyes – it always made him feel so very much alive. Then he lowered his rifle, and the batarian took a shaky breath.

“Smile… er… What’s your name?” Prince said in a jovial manner.

“Senec,” the batarian answered, almost whispering.

Prince put on his warmest smile. “Smile, Senec. It’s your lucky day.” 

The batarian tried a very unconvinced smile. “What?”

“Well, I was considering throwing you in with the varren tonight,” Prince chatted away nonchalantly, “but I won’t. It’s your lucky day.”

The range of emotion on the batarian’s face was fun. It went from horror over relief to a, this time real, smile. “Oh by the stars. Oh thank you, my Prince. Thank you.” He bowed again.

“I’m only going to shoot you in the knee.” 

And he pulled the trigger, just as the batarian stammered “What?” again.

The screams following him on his way to his shuttle made him very, very happy.

~~~

Prince didn’t remember a time in recent months when he’d been this excited. He was so easily bored. He always needed more. Shooting the guy in the leg had been fun, but it had already worn off when he greeted the smuggler. Joans had been ridiculously happy about the amount of money he’d received. If only he knew the price of the specimen he was carrying and the danger he’d been in. No price was, technically, high enough. Luckily, smugglers were idiots. Even the good ones. And Joans was the best one.

The specimen had been stunned and put into its new cage. Prince was sitting on a little bench in front of the glass, watching it wake up. He wanted to be alone with his new price, at least for a little while. 

This thing was beautiful. It looked savage almost, in a glorious way. Maybe one day he could have it fight for him. Apparently, it was an excellent fighter, and an excellent biotic too. It was certainly humanoid, but with a distinctive insectoid look to it. It’s four eyes were moving rapidly, and it groaned. It was waking up. Prince leant forward, in excited anticipation. What would it do? Would it bang against the glass? Shout at him maybe? Insult him? He loved it when they got angry. He loved it when they could be broken.

The bug person blinked. He sat up, rubbing his overly large forehead. His four eyes blinked again, then he looked at Prince. He had fascinating eyes, yellow with two pupils. He just looked, his face expressionless. Prince felt a sudden rush of disappointment. There was no way he could read the face of this guy. What could he possibly be thinking or feeling?

Prince got up and walked towards the glass, smiling at his new possession. The things eyes were following him, but he did nothing else.

“Hello,” Prince said, as friendly as he could. “I am Prince. You belong to me now.”

The bug just looked at him, then he went to the middle of his cage, sat down with his legs crossed and closed his eyes. Prince felt a rush of anger, but he suppressed it. It was fine. He would warm up to him eventually. They all did. And if he didn’t, he’d give him some motivation.

“Look,” Prince continued, “You’re the most valuable thing in this universe. The last Prothean. You don’t know what some people would pay for you. I’ll be nice to you. But if you don’t behave, I might just sell you to someone who isn’t. Or… I’ll stop being nice. So I expect you to not just sit there. You’re not a statue. I didn’t buy a fucking statue.” His voice had grown loud in the end.

The Prothean didn’t react. Prince took a deep breath to calm himself down. What did he expect? This thing was a warrior. He had fought in two reaper wars. Lost his entire species. This was probably nothing to him. Prince just needed to be patient. He hated being patient, but in this case, it would probably be worth it. 

“Javik,” Prince said. Apparently, that was the Prothean’s name. “Don’t worry. We’ll become very good friends, I’m sure. All my specimens love me. One day, so will you. And until then, take your time.” He put his hand on the glass, studying the Prothean’s face. God, he was beautiful. And strange. It would be fine. He just needed to wait.

Prince walked out of the room to give the Prothean time to acclimate. He almost missed a very quiet “Primitives!”, escaping from the Prothean’s mouth. Prince turned around, smiling.

“It speaks!”, he exclaimed. When the Prothean didn’t show any further signs of communication or even movement after a couple of minutes, Prince walked out of the room, smiling. He needed to tell his wife about this. She’d be so fascinated.


	2. Just Another Routine Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one in which we realize these two are still the cutest.

Autumn morning light fell through the open window, and Kaidan’s features were sharpened by it. Shepard looked at his face. Whenever he looked at him like that, he thought how lucky a guy he was. Every now and again, in his darker, self-loathing times, he had wondered why Kaidan didn’t just leave him. Yet here he was still, more than two decades later. Kaidan seemed to feel his gaze on him, and he looked up from his datapad and smiled. It was amazing how much better he aged than Shepard did. Kaidan’s hair did this ridiculous thing, where only his temples turned grey. Kaidan had still been horrified when he first realized he was turning grey but Shepard loved it. The black of his own hair was way further gone. They were both greying early, but what else would you expect from people who had lived through as much as they had.

Shepard smiled back. They didn’t need any words any more to understand what it meant. They were just glad to have each other, to look at each other, to still love each other. Kaidan was already dressed impeccably for work, in one of his blue suits which Shepard just loved. It reminded him of the old Kaidan, in his blue armor – but this was the softer, civilian version. Kaidan, the intellectual. He was also quite sure that the fact Kaidan usually wore blue clothes to work was a very undercover statement about his biotics, or maybe about him technically still being a marine. In any case, he looked very attractive in it. 

“Anything interesting?”, he asked Kaidan, who had gone back to reading right away after the quick smile. It was their ritual to usually mostly enjoy their breakfast in silence, reading the news and occasionally exchanging remarks or a smile. Sometimes though, like today, they started a conversation.

Kaidan looked up at him contemplatively. “I don’t know. Maybe. Probably. They’re warmongering again. But that’s nothing new.”

“Anything in specific?” Shepard had been caught up in reading about new technical advances in private space flight vehicles. Luckily Kaidan always read the parts about politics. Shepard usually got too angry and frustrated when he did that.

“Another insult towards the Krogan. Their position on the council has officially been decnied for the sixth time. If you had told me twenty years ago Krogan would be this persistent, this patient, I would have laughed in your face. But I feel like they are the decent party in this scenario. They’re not doing anything wrong. There’s no reason for them not to be on the council, but they were omitted again. The reasons the other councilors gave for it sound… frankly… racist. I don’t know… It’s just a feeling. Don’t you feel like they just want to get into another war?”

Shepard watched the ocean in front of their window for a couple of seconds. They had talked about this a couple of times before, but it had been more of a theoretical thing. Then he studied Kaidan’s face intently. Something was different. “You’re actually worried.”

Kaidan sighed. “I am. They’re fearmongering. Telling stories about Krogan who rape and plunder and who are terrorists… Seriously, I don’t think they’ve ever seen a Krogan. Have you ever met a Krogan terrorist?”

Shepard chortled. “I don’t think such a thing exists, Kaidan.”

Kaidan nodded. “Yeah. Would be way too obvious. Also, not their style. Not that I’m saying they’re all the same, but you know what I mean. Salarians, on the other hand… But you don’t ever read anything problematic about them.”

Shepard went through the news on the occasion on his own datapad. It did sound a bit worrying. More than a bit, actually. 

“What do they possibly expect to gain from another war though?”, Kaidan asked.

“Maybe Krogan workers and mercs? An excuse for another genophage? Several rich planets to exploit? Also, you know how ruthless companies can be. A war gives them excuses for unethical experiments and it’s always good for the economy.”

Kaidan took a large sip of coffee and rubbed his eyes.

“You seriously think they are forcing us into another war with the Krogan because of what… money?”

Shepard had to grin. “Has there ever been a greater reason for war in our history?”

Kaidan answered with an exaggerated shrug. “I don’t know. Reapers maybe? The fear of certain extinction? Just an idea though… Look, I just don’t want to believe they want another war for economic reasons. This is not what I signed up for.”

“Kaidan!” Shepard said, making his voice sound as disappointed as he possibly could. “Ascribing rational, ethical thought to the Citadel Council! Your heart really is too pure for this world, my friend.”

“Thanks. On that note…” Kaidan emptied his cup, threw on his jacket, grabbed his bag and put on his hat. “Have a nice day, Jamie.” He kissed Shepard on the cheek in passing and walked down the stairs energetically. Shepard heard the door fall shut, and he felt a little pang of regret. He liked the weekends so much more, when their silent reading or conversations weren’t interrupted by things like Kaidan having to be at the Academy early. 

~~~

Shepard left the dishes to the household robot and went on to prepare for work as well. He put on the uniform and looked at himself in the mirror. Still a soldier. Kind of broken, but so were they all. 

What if Kaidan was right? Were they expected to lead troops against the Krogan? There was no way he would ever agree to that. He’d rather resign.

He touched the golden stripes on his shoulders. It was a promise he’d given. A promise to serve, to protect. But it was never enough. Never over. And over the last decades he had realized that it wasn’t necessarily always clear what served the people best, and who exactly the people were. If there was one thing he’d learned, it was that nothing was ever easy or without a cost, especially when lives were concerned. And he wouldn’t fight against Wrex’s people. He knew that. But how could he make the others see it too? 

Before leaving the house, he decided he needed to do something. He activated his omnitool and called Wrex. Not that he expected him to answer, it wasn’t daytime on New Tuchanka, as far as he knew. However, Wrex answered. His face was always a sight for sore eyes.

“Shepard!”

“Wrex!”

“How have you been, my old friend?” Wrex didn’t wait for an answer but looked over his shoulder and Shepard could see something like worry in his eyes. “Could we talk later? I’m kind of in the middle of something right now.”

“Something to do with the council omission? Because it’s the reason I’m calling you.”

Wrex at least took the time to smile. “And here I thought you were missing your old buddy. Yeah. It’s kind of a stressful time right now. Let’s talk later.” He called up information about their time difference on his omnitool. “Maybe 6 o’clock for you over there? Would that be ok?”

“Sounds good, Wrex. I’ll have to get home early. I don’t want anyone except for Kaidan to listen in.”

“Yeah, I’d not want anyone to listen either. We’ll take an encrypted channel. See you later, brother.”

“Wrex.”

“Shepard.” 

And the transmission cut off, leaving Shepard with a heavy feeling in his stomach. This was probably bad. Not surprising, exactly, but bad. Very, very bad. Should they have done anything about this a long time ago? Was there even something they could have done about it?

~~~

After an exhausting walk through the Alliance headquarters, he called his secretary into the room, told him to make coffee and sat down at his desk. One of the perks of being an admiral, and especially Admiral Shepard: There always was someone who was happy to make coffee for you. The disadvantage, however, was that every time he stepped foot outside his office, people wanted to greet him, or at least look at him. It was, indeed, exhausting. 

His work usually wasn’t all too interesting. When he wasn’t busy writing speeches for one or the other event he was invited to, it mainly consisted of reading reports and giving insight. It was a farce, really. Deep down, he was certain he was there because of his face, because of his name. 

Today, he was off the track. Every report he had read for the last couple of weeks had pointed in one direction: War. He had ignored it. Kaidan wasn’t the only one who didn’t want to believe it. But now, he finally started to.

He stared at the speech he was supposed to give at the Academy tomorrow. He had been looking forward to it. The Academy had always been important to him. When Mindoir had been destroyed so many years ago, he had gone to the Academy. And now his husband was teaching there. But thinking about it now, he began to doubt.

The students were young and shapeable. Most of Kaidan’s students ended up becoming spec ops in the biotic division. Most of the science students, like Shepard back then, became combat engineers or infiltrators. The speech would be broadcasted. Younger students would see it and their lives would perhaps be shaped by it. If he just talked as the symbol he was, if he just kept on celebrating their victory over the reapers as he had done it for the last 20 years, becoming more and more tired in the process as he realized that everything was not fine, and it was just a façade – he would just promote the council’s propaganda. Now was not the time to celebrate war. It was the time to celebrate peace and friendship. He had to rewrite his speech.

It was hard work. He had used the same components for his speeches in recent years, always working in some current events. Now, he went into a totally new direction. He would tell them of the friendships he had won during the war. The alliances they had built. He was going to talk about Wrex and Bakara and their children. He was going to talk about Grunt. And he was going to talk about Mordin and his sacrifice. He considered writing about the Quarians and the Geth, but apart from the crushing shame, he didn’t think it was a good idea to take them as an example. Especially him. He did, however, write about the Rachni and how they helped build the crucible. 

~~~

He was maybe two or three hours into his work, when he got a call on his omnitool on an encrypted channel. He answered it and smiled when he saw the blue face on his holoscreen.

“Liara!”

“Hello Shepard,” she said, “I have some news for you.”

“Jumping right into it, huh? We haven’t talked in months, Liara. How have you been? Can we maybe talk after work? Why don’t you call again later?” He wanted to talk to her, more than anything else. 

“Look, Shepard, this is important.” Her face was so serious it made his stomach drop. “Can you guarantee no one is going to listen to this conversation?” 

He looked around. All the doors were closed. His secretary was working with his headset on. “Unless the room is bugged… Wait a second.”

He ran a routine on his omnitool that he had written to sweep for surveillance devices. There was nothing in the room. 

“We’re clear. What is it, Liara?”

“One of my agents has heard something. On Omega. Apparently, there is a smuggler who has recently come into a large fortune of credits. I usually like to know where such wealth comes from, and this guy, in a very careless moment, bragged to him about an alien he has smuggled. It was a Prothean, Shepard.”

He couldn’t believe his ears. “Javik’s alive? What’s he doing? Where is he?” His first reaction was happiness, but then he saw Liara’s expression.

“He wasn’t the one paying for his smuggling. He was smuggled as a captive from a Salarian science lab to some decadent menagerie where he now is part of a collection of extinct, dying, or rare species.”

“What?” A sudden rush of anger welled up in him. Javik… in a zoo? He wanted to yell, but he controlled his breathing. This was not something everyone else needed to know. Also, he was technically having a private conversation at work. And the political implications of the fact that the Salarians had held Javik… He didn’t even want to think about it at the moment. “Liara, I need to find him.” 

“Yes, you do,” she said, “I was considering putting my agents on it, but to be honest, I think this is way above their pay grade. The agents I sent have failed or disappeared. I’m afraid the smuggler will be getting suspicious if we pursue this much further. I don’t want to put you into danger, but you are used to dealing with this… clientele. You should be able to handle him. I can’t really do anything for Javik directly right now. The only thing I can do is give you a name. Derin Joans. He’s on Omega, spending a lot of money. He shouldn’t be hard to find. If you decide to go after him, keep me posted. If not, I’ll look for other options.”

Shepard nodded. “This is horrible, Liara”, he said. 

“Yes. I’m sorry I’m not just calling to chat. Maybe there’ll be time for that another day.” She got ready to disconnect.

“Wait,”, Shepard called, “Can we talk in the next two or three days? Because I need your take on the political situation right now.”

“Of course, Shepard. We should do that. Just message me on the frequency I’m sending you, and please: Please be careful. We’ll work this out somehow.”

“Bye, Liara. Thanks.”

“Goodbye, Shepard.”

His omnitool disconnected and he just stared at it, trying to comprehend what he had just heard. It was just a little bit too much.

“Are you all right, Sir?” his secretary asked, opening the door. He must have seen his face and wondered. Shepard sighed.

“Yeah, yeah, don’t worry about it, Collins. Can you bring me another coffee, please?”

He took the time until he held the hot steaming cup in his hands to turn on his omnitool again and type in a quick message to Kaidan. 

Only minutes later, Kaidan called him. He looked a bit out of breath. “What’s wrong, Jamie?” They usually never called or texted each other at work.

“Don’t worry, there's nothing wrong with me.” Kaidan visibly relaxed. “However… Are you alone, Kaidan? Can anyone hear this?” 

Kaidan looked around. “I don’t think so. I’m alone. I’ll turn down the volume though.” 

When Shepard relayed what Liara had just told him, Kaidan looked utterly shocked.

“How can this be? I thought he…” His voice dropped to a whisper, “I thought he died, Jamie.” 

That was what Shepard had thought as well. After some years with Liara, Javik had just disappeared. It had seemed like he went to the Cronian Nebula to join his squad after all. But apparently, he’d never reached the place.

“We need to save him,” Kaidan said, “I’ll ask for a leave of absence. Damn, it would be great to still have spectre privileges right now. “

The thought had crossed Shepard’s mind as well. “Yeah, I know. I’ll let you know the soonest date we can go to Omega. I hope it will be within the next couple of days. I can’t stand the idea of Javik in a cage.”

Kaidan nodded.

“Also: Can you be home at six? I promised Wrex to call about the Krogan situation.” 

Kaidan sighed. “Today really is one of these days, isn’t it. I’ll be there. See you later, darling.”

~~~

When Shepard came home, only a few minutes before six o’clock, he was exhausted. After Liara’s call, he had split his attention between rewriting his speech and, the more exhausting part, asking for a spontaneous leave of absence. Surprisingly enough, after not too much persuasion, he was granted his leave, no questions asked. Another sign his job wasn’t all that important. Kaidan had had a harder time. He had to call in a couple of favors to get what he wanted. They were, however, set to leave the day after tomorrow. Which meant they needed to pack tonight. But first, Wrex.

They put him on the big screen, sitting on their couch. 

“Shepard!”, Wrex’s voice sounded through the room.

“Wrex!“

“Alenko! Nice to see you again, old pal.”

“Hello, Wrex. Nice to see you too.”

“Look, you guys, I don’t have too much time. I’ve been putting out fires all night long and now another thing has come up.” 

“What’s happening over there?”

“Well, people are really starting to thirst for blood. I – Bakara and I, that is – have managed to calm them down for the last couple of years, but I think they finally had enough.”

“What are you saying?” Shepard asked.

“I’m saying that if your Alliance isn’t very, very careful, we’ll have a full-blown war on our hands. This is a disaster. But to be honest – I get it. The Salarians have never been brought to justice. They’ve never paid us anything back. And they are campaigning to keep us out of the council, to not even give us an embassy on the citadel. And for some reason the Alliance still supports them.”

Shepard buried his face in his hands. “Well… shit.” He felt Kaidan’s hand on his back.

“How tangible are those plans at this point, Wrex?” Kaidan asked. 

“Don’t worry, there are no actual plans yet. We’re not going to war tomorrow, or next week, or even next month. I’m just saying: I’m not sure how much longer I can hold this shit back. It doesn’t need much now to make this time bomb of a very pissed-off species go up.” 

They sat there in silence for a couple of seconds. “I don’t really have too much more time,” Wrex said, “Tell me: How are you guys doing?”

“Well…” Shepard sighed, “Something’s come up, Wrex. You can’t tell this to anyone.” And he told him about Javik.

“Wait,” Wrex snarled, “So you’re saying you two won’t be around the Alliance in the next couple or days or maybe even weeks?” 

“For as long as it takes to get him back,” Shepard answered, “Why?”

“Well, it would have been nice to know there’s someone there who still has some brains left. But I guess I can still call you if things go very, very wrong. And if you need any help, let me know. I’ll do what I can, of course.”

“Thanks, Wrex. Just… take care of your people. That helps us more than anything else.”

Wrex nodded. “Good luck. From the sound of this, you’ll need it.”

“So will you,” Kaidan said, “Good luck to you too, for all our sakes.”

~~~

“What a day,” Shepard sighed as soon as the call was disconnected and leaned back on the couch, staring to the ceiling for a couple of seconds. 

Kaidan took his hand. “It’s a lot. But we’re still badasses who know how to work a gun, right? We’re gonna kick some smuggler’s ass, and when we’re done getting our friend back, we’re gonna kick the council's asses until they stop yelling war.”

Shepard looked at him in surprise. Just now, he sounded like the Kaidan that had defeated the reapers with him. 

“Isn’t it amazing that it doesn’t even take a generation?” Shepard asked.

“Not a human generation, that is,” Kaidan interjected. Shepard buried his face in Kaidan’s chest, inhaling his scent that by now, he knew better than any other, and let Kaidan’s hands caress his neck. 

“People are dumb”, Shepard mumbled.

Kaidan chuckled. “I can’t believe it took you 53 years to get there.” And he pulled up Shepard’s chin and kissed him. “It’ll be ok.”


	3. An Interruption

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one in which Shepard basically gives a TED talk :D

“You know, it just feels wrong doing this while we know that Javik’s in a cage getting gawked at,” Shepard said, straightening out the cuffs of his sleeves.  
Kaidan was sitting next to him on the slightly sagging sofa. It had this distinct smell like very stale alcohol mixed with something sweet and fruity that usually surrounded upholstery mostly used by students. Shepard had decided he wanted to have a room where they could talk, just the two of them, before the event started, so Kaidan had taken him to a small student’s lounge backstage. Kaidan had been watching him intently for the last couple of minutes. He definitely seemed more nervous than usually right before his public appearances.

“We can’t do anything for him right now,” he said, “but that speech you have prepared might at least help sway the discourse on the Krogan. Just a tiny bit, but everything helps, right?”

Shepard sighed. “Maybe I shouldn’t do this.”

“Your speech is amazing, Jamie. You can do this.”

Shepard nodded slowly. “Thanks. It’s just… I never really talked about this stuff in public.”

Kaidan couldn’t resist smiling at how insecure he suddenly sounded. “Jamie. People love you. They will love this. This is what they want, to know more about you.”

Shepard took Kaidan’s hand and interlaced their fingers. “I’m glad you came with, Kaidan.”

“Of course. Wouldn’t miss this.” He kissed the back of Shepard’s hand. He closed his eyes when Jamie’s other hand started caressing the back of his head and leaned against the touch, very much like a cat. It always made Jamie chuckle when he did that, and it didn’t fail now. “I love you”, Kaidan said. The words, repeated thousands of times, felt completely natural at this point.

“Love you too,” Shepard said and pulled him into a short embrace, kissing the top of his head. Kaidan could hear his elevated heartbeat. Apparently, he really was agitated about the speech. “Maybe you should go and secure a seat in the front row for yourself,” Kaidan heard Shepard say, voice muffled through his hair, “I love looking at a pretty face while I’m talking.”

Kaidan chuckled and got up. “Will you be ok?”, he asked his husband, smoothing the lapels of his own suit.

“I guess.” Shepard started his omnitool, checking his messages. Kaidan left him, pulling the door shut behind him.

He still had a couple of minutes. Of course, he had told one of his students to keep him a seat in the front row, so technically he didn’t need to hurry. He knew, however, that Jamie wanted to look over his speech one last time. It had been a long time since he had been like this. Kaidan felt just a hint of nervousness on behalf of his husband. It was a brave thing to talk about the darker chapters of your past, even if you weren’t a war hero, a symbol.

He slowly walked down the corridor, passing the backstage area of the auditorium. The rather loud, steady murmuring told him the auditorium was probably already full. A heavy door separated this corridor from the one that led from the side door of the auditorium towards the exit of the building. When this door fell shut behind him, almost all the voices were suddenly canceled out. Standing under the buzzing, synthetic light, Kaidan had a sudden strange feeling of foreboding. Something wasn’t right.

He took a couple of deep breaths. He knew this was probably just his implant. The older he got, the more he felt the effects. Apart from the migraines, occasional light paranoia was the most obvious one. He turned towards the auditorium, trying to force himself to ignore the way the empty corridor behind him made his skin crawl. He’d need to talk to his doctor about his medication, he thought. Then he turned around. He couldn’t not follow this up.

Cursing himself every step of the way, he went down the corridor and stood in front of the exit a couple of seconds, hand outstretched. There were voices outside. Maybe he’d heard them subconsciously. He couldn’t make out the words through the door, and he opened it. Outside, two people were sitting on the stairs, immediately stopping their conversation when they heard the door open. A human and a krogan. The latter looked at him with piercing eyes. Kaidan let his eyes wander over the mostly empty courtyard. There was nothing here that was even remotely threatening, at least rationally. He did, however, not like the way the krogan’s eyes narrowed when Kaidan met his gaze again and smiled. He thought about taking a turn in the courtyard, making absolutely sure. Then he looked at the time and realized he needed to get back. Resisting the urge, he nodded at the two again, turned around, and closed the door. This was just ridiculous.

When he entered the room, Kaidan smiled at Linda Castillo, who had kept the seat right next to the door for him. She was one of his favorite students, exceptionally talented, clever, and tough. He saw a great career for her in the Alliance. Like many of the other older students, she was already enlisted and took part in the officer training as well finishing her education at the academy.

“Sir.” She skidded away from his chair, closing the gap to her girlfriend, who took her hand. Her girlfriend was a medical student named Maria Thompson. While Castillo was a rather sturdy, butchy, military type, Thompson wore long black curls and a significant amount of make-up, was very femme, and very girly. Also, she wasn’t planning on a military career. She leant over Castillo, offering Kaidan her hand and started chatting away. “So nice to see you again, Sir.” He shook her hand and suppressed a grin at Castillo’s mortified expression. There seemed to have been a discussion about this before. “Linda didn’t want me to ask you, but I have to. Do you think it would be possible – only if it’s not too much of a bother of course – that I could meet your husband afterwards? I just really want to meet him but guess who had to work the night shift in the hospital while her girlfriend was off having fun and meeting Shepard at the academy’s summer solstice party. Please? I just want to have a picture with him.”

Kaidan had to laugh. “I’ll make it happen.” Thompson bopped Castillo’s shoulder and grinned at her, who just shook her head wearily, though she had to laugh. He couldn’t contain a happy smile looking at the two. It was anything but self-evident to him that people like them existed. Had everything turned out differently – they would never have been born. The two of them alone made every single thing worth it.

When the head of the engineering department walked on stage, the room went silent. He began introducing Shepard, not leaving out a couple of amusing stories about him as a student. It wasn’t necessary to introduce Shepard, but it was tradition to do this with anyone who got an honorary doctorate. Kaidan remembered how Jamie had acted like he found it utterly ridiculous to get this title. Kaidan knew better. He knew it made him proud.

When Shepard walked onto the stage, he was greeted by thunderous applause, as he always was. He still had this presence that had attracted Kaidan so many years ago, this strange charisma that made it natural to trust him and to listen to him. Shepard scanned the room, and locked eyes with Kaidan for a second. Kaidan gave him a thumbs up. Shepard walked into the middle of the stage, not hiding his slight limp, and activated his omnitool. He ignored the microphone and used a useful little program that connected his omnitool directly to the speakers. Sometimes Kaidan wondered if he just wanted to make a show out of how he was a tech guy with these things.

“Thank you for your kind laudation”, Shepard started, nodding towards the head of the engineering department.

“And thank you for coming to the others – it’s always a surprise people are still interested in hearing what I have to say.” A couple of people in the audience laughed. He already had them, it was never a challenge. “So,” he continued, “This year is my thirtieth anniversary of graduating here, believe it or not. Yes. I have gone to this Academy in a time that seems like… another life time.

Just think back to what we believed about the universe back then, about what we took for granted and what we dismissed as fairytales, and what we’ve learned in the meantime – it is amazing.” He paused for a second, contemplating. Kaidan was quite sure he wasn’t the only one having to think of Javik. “My original plan for this speech was to talk about how we as humans – even though there are not only humans in the room – “ he made a little bow in the direction of a group of Asari students, who exchanged glances and giggling, “But yes, I wanted to talk about how we as humans have evolved over the last decades, how our technology has developed in ways that only a couple of decades ago no one would ever have even believed possible, how we have seized a position of strength and power in the galaxy that other species have needed centuries to accomplish. We have accomplished a lot. And we have a lot to be proud of.”

He waited until the audience stopped applauding. “But this is not what I’m here to talk about. I have decided, that what I do want to talk about is… well, friendship. I want to talk about how very fruitful friendships with members of other species can be. How we can learn from each other and grow in each other’s company. Our different perspectives on the universe are a virtue, and when we use them as a strength, they make us invincible.

What I’m about to tell you is a bit dark, and I apologize for it. I suppose you all know that I have lived through things that are not necessarily the prettiest, and I hereby consider you warned.” He waited for a couple of seconds in case anyone wanted to leave the room. Nobody did. They knew his usual way of direct speaking. Kaidan checked the room, trying to get a feel for it. Everybody’s eyes were glued to Shepard’s lips.

“I’m going to tell you a story about me. It is known, but it is not what people think about when they hear my name.

When I was sixteen, I lost my entire community in one of the most brutal way one could, maybe, imagine. My parents have been killed right in front of me. It is something you never forget. Something that haunts you for the rest of your life. To have one’s entire existence taken away by very evil people in a matter of minutes is something that leaves an impression on one’s life. Anyone here who has lived through the reapers probably knows what I’m talking about.” There was a slight discomfort in the audience. Kaidan saw Thompson and Castillo exchange an unsettled look. He knew nobody had expected Shepard to talk about this part of his life.

“It isn’t surprising that when my teacher recommended me for an interspecies science program a couple of months later, she asked me if I would be ok with it,” Shepard continued, now starting to really get into his talk, “The reason she asked was because one of the other students would be a Batarian. And I had only ever met Batarians who’d been pirates. The only thing I knew about them was that they’d shot my parents. So, I thought about it. And then I said it wouldn’t be a problem. I thought, there was no way every single Batarian was an evil person. I was sure there was no way a Batarian kid who was interested in the same nerdy science stuff that I was interested when I was sixteen would be an evil person. There had to be good Batarians out there, because how could an entire species be bad?

And so I went.” The memory still made Shepard smile. “And I met him. I was skeptical in the beginning. I don’t think there’s anyone out there who wouldn’t understand that. But he was probably one of the funniest people I ever met. He was bright, and he was just a really nice kid. He had four eyes, yeah, and a bad reputation because that’s what Batarians always have, but he was really nice. We ended up becoming friends. Sadly… you know how it is. It isn’t easy to maintain friendships halfway through the galaxy, especially when you’re young. I do know, however, that he never did anything that wasn’t honorable. That was the first time I realized how amazing it could be to make friends instead of having prejudices.”

He went on talking about how he met Garrus, Tali, Wrex, and Liara. He especially talked about Wrex and went on to talking about working together with Wrex and Mordin to cure the genophage.

Kaidan loved the story so much he almost didn’t notice the door next to him open. He did, however, very clearly see the explosive device being thrown in, landing only feet away from him, blinking rapidly. His reaction was instinctual. Throwing up the biggest barrier he could manage, he yelled “Everybody down!” and positioned himself right in between the girls and the bomb. The instance most of the force of the explosion got absorbed by his barrier, his vision went black with the sudden pain shooting through his head. His biotics weren’t stable enough to stand something like this anymore. Hell, most biotics never managed to do anything like this, and he was damaged goods. But he didn’t have a choice. He was thrown back by the left-over force and stumbled into Castillo, who picked herself up from the floor and activated her biotics, throwing up a shield in front of herself and Thompson.

And then all hell actually broke loose. Even the moment the Krogan ran into the room, Kaidan couldn’t help feeling like they made a show out of things, yelling and shooting their guns in random directions. Kaidan threw up another barrier, sweat already trickling down his neck. Where was Shepard? He frantically looked for him while trying to ward of the bullets for as many people behind him as possible. This was not his strength. His strength was what Castillo was trying to do, sucking the life force out of an enemy. But the Krogan Castillo was trying to reave still had his shield up. Kaidan cursed under his breath, pushing back against his loss of consciousness as his field of vision started going black. He couldn't. Shepard needed to do something. Holding this barrier up was like a knife being twisted inside of his head. From the corner of his eye, he could see rapid movement on the stage, but his vision wasn't clear enough to get any confirmation on what was going on. Shepard was obviously busy, though.

Only moments later, people had managed to overload most of the guys' shields. There were several engineering students and teachers in here, after all. It only took the biotics in the room seconds to finish the job, knocking all the Krogan out.

Kaidan’s last thought was that it was a very ill-conceived plan, attacking this specific room of people, before the room just fell away and he lost consciousness.


	4. Quiet after the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one in which a fangirl gets more than she'd bargained for.

Shepard’s fighting style could never had been described as pretty, exactly. He'd always been more like the sneaky, clever guy, playing to his strengths, staying in the background, using the technology he could find on the battlefield to give the guys with the big guns an advantage. In his early career, it had even been called cowardly – though people had shut up about it very quickly, seeing his results. Even in his physical prime, he’d never had that grace other soldiers had. He was effective, clever, and brutal, though he had always been very intent on not letting anyone get close. As long as they stayed at a distance, he would win without a problem. As soon as someone crossed into his space, it usually got very, very ugly, and sometimes surprisingly dangerous and tight.

Now, as he’d lost a significant part of his physical prowess, having a krogan charge him was something of a worst-case scenario. There was no way of getting into cover, he didn’t have a defense drone, he wasn’t quick enough to overload the guys shields, he didn’t have a gun, and he knew how ridiculously little a fist did against a krogan’s thick skin. He knew he was doomed as soon as he heard the krogan’s howl. He did the only thing he could do: Let him get close and jump out of the way in the last second. The krogan was carried a couple of feet by his own momentum, and Shepard started running.

He knew he had only the fraction of a second to do something before the krogan would turn around, pointing his gun at him. He let his instincts take over and dove behind the desk standing in the middle of the stage, cowering into cover. Through the cracks in the wood, he could see the blue gleam of biotics in the crowd. Kaidan. He needed to do something, and quick. He could feel the krogan’s steps more than he could hear them, but he knew he only had seconds. Frantically typing on his omnitool, he worked on overloading the guy’s weapons and shields. It was either harder than he’d remembered, or he’d gotten slow. Admittedly, he also hadn’t expected a fight today.

He succeeded in the last possible moment, staring up the guy’s barrel when the krogan suddenly froze, lightning jumping over his armor, paralyzing him long enough for Shepard to snatch the gun out of his hands. He shot him in the face a couple of times, at point-blank range, and just as the krogan began another charge at him, this time with his fists, Shepard managed to knock him out. He was quite sure you couldn’t kill a krogan merely with a couple of bullets, but there was no need to kill the guy just yet anyways.

Shepard whipped around, pointing his gun at the other shooters, trying to get an overview of the situation. For the fraction of a second, what he saw took him back to what Jack had done in the collector base, so many years ago. He saw Kaidan, holding up the largest biotic shield he’d ever seen him hold. He also saw his face, grimacing in pain. The girl next to him had activated her biotics, as had some of the other people in the room. He needed to overload the krogan’s shields. 

His fingers practically flew over his omnitool as he was hacking into their systems, overloading at least two of them with a force that made them drop their weapons and be paralyzed for a second. Others in the room with similar technical expertise were doing the same thing, sending a firework of sparks and lightning along the line of krogan, who then were quickly thrown against the wall or warped or reaved out of consciousness.

Shepard stared at them for a millisecond, puzzled as to who would be dumb enough to attack this room. Then he saw Kaidan fall, getting caught by the two girls that had been sitting next to him. Shepard jumped off the stage, gritting his teeth against the searing pain shooting up his legs. He helped the girls move Kaidan to an open space on the floor, trying to see what was wrong with him. No wounds. It had to be his implant. Cursing, he looked around, looking for the nearest person who still had their wits about them. 

“You,” he shouted at the girl with the buzzcut right in front of him, trying to drown the noise the crowd was making, “Call some medics! He’s not the only one who’s going to need medical attention!”

She nodded “Aye, Sir!” and started dialing on her omnitool. 

He took Kaidan’s hand and brushed his hair out of his face. His horribly pale, clammy face. For a second, he gave in to the panick, fearing the worst, and his hand shot to Kaidan’s neck, searching for a pulse. He breathed a sigh of relief when he found it. Still, he didn’t look good.

“Are you a doctor?” he asked the pretty black girl who seemed to be scanning Kaidan’s vitals on her omnitool.

“Almost,” she said, frowning at what her omnitool told her.

“So?” Shepard asked, fighting against his panic, “Can you see what’s wrong with him?”

“I… I’m sorry, I don’t really know, it looks like he’s in shock… But… I can’t find any causes…” 

“He’s an L2. It’s probably his implant. He’s technically not allowed to do shit like this anymore.” 

The girl’s eyes widened. “Of course! I’ve read of cases like his!”

Shepard saw the eagerness in her eyes, now returning to her omnitool, reexamining her results with the new information. Then he felt Kaidan’s hand tighten around his own and turned around.

“Kaidan! Can you hear me?”

Kaidan blinked once, then screwed his eyes shut. “Get me out of this room, right now.” He struggled to a sitting position, grabbing at Shepard for a hold, still blind. Shepard saw him gasping for breath and clawing at his collar, and he opened the first few buttons for him.

“Can we move him?”, Shepard asked the girl, cradling Kaidan’s shaking body.

“We probably should get him somewhere quiet to wait for the medics.”

Jamie slung one of Kaidan’s arms over his shoulder, trying to get him up, but his knees buckled under their weight.

“Linda!” the girl called the other one with the buzzcut over, and she took Kaidan’s other arm. It was a team effort to get him to the backroom, leaving out the light, so the only light source was coming from the cracks of the door. Kaidan slumped onto the sofa, pressing his hands against his head. Shepard got out both their coats and covered him with them. 

“Kaidan,” he smiled, putting his hands on top of his, trying to be calming, “You’re a hero.”

“Great,” Kaidan groaned, grimacing.

“I mean it. You protected these people. It looked awesome. I literally haven’t seen anything like this in almost 25 years.” He caressed Kaidan’s cheeks and kissed him on his temple. 

“I should have known better,” Shepard heard Kaidan whisper. Then Kaidan looked at him, and he frowned. “You know you’re bleeding, right?”

Shepard wiped over his cheek. This wasn’t even worth his time. “Well, I didn’t have a dashing biotic standing between me and the explosion.”

Kaidan chuckled with quite an effort. “Are you ok though?” he whispered.

“For some reason I am, Kaidan. I got charged by a krogan.”

“Bet that didn’t turn out too well for you.”

“I… knocked him out. Or something like that. Didn’t check.”

“Well done. Seems you’ve learned some new tricks. Last time we fought a krogan together, I had to save you.” Now it was Shepard’s turn to laugh. Kaidan was weak, his voice barely carrying to Shepard’s ears, but he was still able to rub this kind of stuff in Shepard's face.

Kaidan winced when the door opened. The buzzcut-girl had gotten two medics in, who immediately started working on Kaidan. Shepard stood up and took a look at the two girls. 

“Thanks,” he said, offering his hand to the feminine one first, then to the butchy one. “I know you, don’t I? Linda Castillo?”

“Yes. We’ve met. Colonel Alenko is my biotics teacher.”

“Right! You’re a marine.” 

“A recruit. Yes.” She smiled at the other girl. “This is my girlfriend, Maria Thompson. She wanted to meet you, Sir.”

“Well…” Shepard sighed, “Be careful what you wish for, right?”

She laughed. “It’s an honor, Sir.”

“I wish we could have met under better circumstances. You do work well under pressure though. My compliments.”

She beamed at Linda.

“Jamie?”

Shepard turned around again and sank down next to Kaidan, taking his hand again. “What is it?”

“You need to get out there and talk in front of a camera. You need to do some damage control. If not… This is going to have political consequences. Bad ones.”

Only now did Shepard realize the implications of what had just happened. “Kaidan… These guys were bloodpack, right?”

“Kind of looked like it. Doesn’t matter though. People will only see one thing. Krogan terrorists.”

“Shit. You’re right.” He turned to the medics. “Will you bring him to the hospital?”

“It would be wise to go there as soon as possible, yes.”

Shepard sighed. He couldn’t go with him, he needed to stay and talk to people.

“We can stay with him,” Maria said.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” 

Shepard nodded at them both. They seemed the decent sort. He knew how much Kaidan liked Castillo. “Thank you. See you once I’m done here.”

He pressed a kiss on Kaidan’s lips and walked out of the room. 

”Sir?”

He turned around in the doorframe. Maria accompanied him into the corridor, took a cloth and wiped the blood off his face. He waited patiently while she examined his face. Then she smiled. “You’re good to go. It’s barely a scratch.”

He gave her another smile and went back to the auditorium.

~~~

Almost two hours later he arrived at the hospital, frustrated and exhausted. He desperately needed to get home and sit down somewhere, or better yet, sleep, but these kinds of days were never short. His mood got slightly better when he saw Kaidan sitting in the waiting room with the two girls, talking and laughing. He was still wearing both of their coats, and squinting even in the dim light, but color had returned to his face.

“So I guess I can take you home with me?” He asked right after rushing into the room.

“It would certainly seem so.” Kaidan smiled and gave him his coat back. His words were a little sluggish, probably because of some strong medication.

Shepard didn’t care about the others in the room. He needed a hug right now. He pulled Kaidan up and hugged him so close he heard him gasp. “Sorry!” He tried to let go, but Kaidan didn’t let go of him, and he closed his arms around his back once more.

“It’s fine, Jamie. Everything will be fine.” They kissed, in a greedy, yet assured way that spoke of their recent fear and frustration and their current relief.

“I guess we’ll have to cancel Omega, huh?” Jamie asked, after breaking away.

“Well, they didn’t technically say I couldn’t travel…”

“I don’t think it would be wise, Kaidan.”

“Jamie, every minute we wait…” 

Shepard shot a glance at the two girls, who were obviously trying to look casual, not watching them.

“I’m sorry. You two should never have become involved in this. Thank you though. I mean it. Do you need a lift?”

Kaidan chuckled. “I’d consider that offer carefully if I were you, his driving does tend to put the fear of god into you.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me, Kaidan.”

“You know I’ll never let you live the Mako down. And your driving hasn't exactly improved. I’m just warning them.”

“I’m brave,” Linda said.

“She’ll probably need me to hold her hand,” Maria grinned.

“You are indeed brave. Both of you.” Shepard took Kaidan’s arm. “Can you really come home?”

“They’ve dismissed me minutes before you came after what felt like a thousand checks. The meds are working fine. I feel ok. I’d love to lie down in a dark and silent room, but apart from that…”

Shepard put an arm around Kaidan’s shoulder while they walked out of the hospital, enjoying how Kaidan put his arm around his waist under his coat and nuzzled his face on his shoulder. 

It felt so good to hold him that Shepard almost forgot about the girls who were following them. “I’m sorry,” he said, turning around after a couple of dozen steps, “I’m sorry we’re being that kind of couple right now.”

Shepard had to laugh though when he realized the girls were holding each other in a similar way. “Well, I guess that makes four of us,” Linda grinned.

“I’m not military, so I can say this: You are very cute, the two of you,” Maria added.

Shepard looked at Kaidan, who had slung both arms around his waist now, so Shepard basically supported half his weight. He smiled. “I guess we are at that point. Kaidan, we’re cute nowadays.”

Kaidan chortled, his eyes only half open. “You’ve always been a cute geek, Jamie. People just never saw it.”

Shepard frowned. “How much pain medication are you on right now?”

“A lot. Let’s just leave it at that.”

Shepard saw Maria chew on something she obviously wanted to say. “What’s wrong?”

Maria smiled. “Nothing is wrong. I just wanted to ask, Admiral…”

“Just call me Shepard, please.”

“Shepard. I just wanted to ask if I could, maybe, take a picture with you? So my grandchildren will believe that I met Shepard in person?”

~~~

When they got home, it was already late. Shepard supported Kaidan to bed, tucked him in, shaded the room and closed the door, before turning on their holoscreen. He needed to see what they’d made of this attack. 

The first channel he turned on was currently talking about it. He saw his own face, a little bit beaten up, but calm. “…that’s why I don’t think we should retaliate in any way quite yet. We need to get to the bottom of this, before anyone takes any action.”

“Sir, do you think this has anything to do with the krogan? Do they want war?” The question had angered him in the moment, and he grimaced when he saw a slight hint of that anger on his own face. 

“Of course not. As far as I know, the krogan are more interested in furthering their own prosperous and peaceful existence than taking up arms against other species of the Alliance. I’d suspect these guys were mercenaries. I don’t know who hired them, and neither do you. Which is why we need to get to the bottom of this before speculating and maybe jeopardizing a relationship that is very much in everybody's best interest.”

The picture went back to the news speaker. “So, this is Admiral Shepards immediate take on the attack. Let us just hope that this is an isolated case and the investigators will find out who’s responsible for this very soon.” She turned around and the screen behind her now showed a picture of Tuchanka. “Now we’ll get to our current special: Krogan – Can our traditional enemies ever really be our friends?”

Horrified, Shepard switched the channel. It was even worse. They’d taken his words out of context and used them to promote a hateful message. Every channel after that one was in between the two. Not one of them reflected on the fact that these guys were Krogan, yes, but they were most obviously hired by someone who profited from this.

He would have sat there a lot longer if he hadn’t heard the bedroom door open. 

“Jamie…” Kaidan said, squinting in the light, “why don’t you leave it for tonight and come to bed? It was strenuous for you too.”

Shepard sighed. He didn’t want to burden Kaidan right now. “I just want to see what they’re saying about it.” 

Kaidan came over to him and hugged him from behind, turning off the screen in the process. “You’re not going to solve this tonight. You’re just going to be exhausted tomorrow on our flight. Come to bed.”

Shepard groaned. “Are you absolutely sure you can fly to Omega tomorrow?”

“Of course. I’ll be fine. Javik needs us, Jamie. I’ve knocked myself out with my biotics before, it’s not like this is new or anything.”

“I don’t really remember it ever being this bad.”

“It was a big thing I had to do, Jamie. But I promise you: I am going to be ok. Also – I really miss space travel.” 

Kaidan took his hand, and this time he tucked Shepard in, and wrapped his arms around his chest.

“Let’s just get some sleep, ok? These last two days have been… just a little bit crazy.”

And he fell asleep almost immediately. 

It took Shepard a lot longer to fall asleep. He couldn’t see any future in which what happened today wouldn’t have any dire consequences. He just hoped they didn’t royally fuck up by going after their friend instead of staying at the Alliance headquarters.


	5. Pride Goes before a Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one in which a smuggler's day is getting ruined.

It was one of these mornings. Waking with the smell of breakfast filling his nose. Derin Joans felt around the bed blindly, trying to find his boy. His slight disappointment was relieved at once, when Ragnar came into the room carrying a tray.

“I’ve made you breakfast, my love,” Ragnar purred, putting the tray down on the bed. He threw away his silken dressing gown to reveal his slender body, then he climbed onto the bed, lying down in a perfect pose, which made sure Derin was able to see as much of his porcelain skin as possible, while his caramel brown shock of hair flowed over his shoulder and onto the pillow.

He plucked a grape from the top of the fruit bowl and fed it to Derin, who closed his mouth around Ragnar’s Finger and held it with his teeth for a second. Ragnar smiled. 

“Coffee, my love?” Even his way of looking at his customer while at the same time mixing the exact right amount of coffee and milk together was perfect. Derin was incredibly lucky he’d found Ragnar. He wasn’t cheap, but he was worth every credit.

“So, Ragnar – what kind of entertainment do you have planned for me today?” Derin asked after a sip of his coffee. It was delicious. He combed his fingers through Ragnar’s hair, then he traced his cheekbone with his thumb. Ragnar kissed his palm and gave him one of his beautiful, devious smiles. 

“Well, first we are going to have breakfast. And then we are going to have… breakfast.” He wiggled his brows in a way that made Derin snicker. “And if I’m right after that we are going to have more breakfast. I was planning on taking you out on a krogan gladiator fight in the afternoon. It’s highly illegal and therefore highly interesting. Something has come up, however, and you are going to like it.”

“Something that’s better than a gladiator fight? You make it sound ominous.”

“Well… it’s a job. Potentially.”

Derin was stumped. “You found me a potential job, Ragnar? What are you?”

“I am utterly devoted to you, my darling.” Ragnar gave him a warm smile and another kiss to the palm.

“And so you got me a job?” How amazing was this boy?

“Well, I don’t exactly have a job for you.” Ragnar started to nibble a biscuit in the most aesthetically pleasing way Derin had ever seen anyone eat a biscuit. “I was made aware of a certain… collector, retailer – whatever you want to call him – who needs someone reliable who can move goods very discreetly. I thought maybe you should meet one of his middle men.”

“So… You heard of someone who needs a smuggler and you thought of me?”

“Of course, my darling. I want you to be happy.” Looking into Ragnar’s baby blue eyes, Derin almost wanted to believe he meant it.

“How do I meet him? Do you know more about him? I’ve been burned before. I won’t just trust anyone.”

“I don’t know his actual name, but he’s a big player in certain circles, though not widely known. Apparently, he has built an emporium on selling rare weapons. Illegal weapons. I have been told it’s a very lucrative business. People will pay large sums for an…” His eyes wandered towards Derin’s crotch. “exceptionally big and powerful gun.”

“It’s true,” Derin said, trying and failing to ignore his physical reaction to Ragnar’s gaze. “It is a very lucrative business. So he keeps his affairs close to himself?”

“He only ever sends his lieutenants to do business. And usually always works with the same people. He’s in need of a new smuggler who specializes in flying right under the Alliance’s nose. His old one got caught. If you get this job, however, this might be a stable income. A very large stable income.”

Derin chewed his lip. It almost sounded too good to be true. “And how do you know this, Ragnar?”

“Please, darling,” Ragnar chuckled. He pushed the tray aside and rolled on top of Derin, starting to kiss his neck, slowly working his way down. “I’m one of the most sought-after escorts on this station. I get around the right people. I hear things. You’ll meet Jim Solomon, his lieutenant, at three. Until then, however…”

Derin Joans was clearly in heaven.

***

The morning had been wonderful. Now, sitting in the VIP lounge of Afterlife, his arm around his boy, Derin Joans got nervous. Every fiber of his being told him to trust Ragnar. Hell, he was probably developing feelings for him. But on the other hand, he knew that every gesture, every sign of affection, every kiss was bought with credits. Why would this guy set him up with a job, if he didn’t get anything out of it?

Well, maybe he did. You never knew. On Omega, no one was only what they seemed on the surface.

Also, on Omega, you usually didn’t really have to worry about meetings like this. There wasn’t any law enforcement around, other than Aria’s people, that is, and they didn’t care. It was the perfect place to meet and do shady business. And he deserved this. He deserved getting a real employment. The Prince was fine and he payed well, but he only had one or two jobs for him every solar year. They were good jobs, the most interesting jobs a smuggler could dream of – but still. The outrageous sum of money he’d made with his last one was already running out. And at this point, he saw himself way above the usual small jobs every smuggler started out with. He was the best smuggler in the galaxy. He didn’t smuggle small amounts of drugs any more. Now he just needed to be careful. It only went so far. As soon as you made a name for yourself and people started to recognize you, you were out.

Also, Solomon's background had checked out. He'd gone into business after the war and worked his way up for the last two decades. He was such a big player Derin was shocked he'd never heard of him before, when he had checked the dark corners of the extranet for him.

Ragnar left him at three, and Derin Joans threw himself into his business pose. Self confidence was key. The lieutenant needed to see him as an equal.

Solomon was late, but Derin Joans recognized him as soon as he walked through the door. He wasn’t necessarily one of those people who instantly owned a room when they walked in, but he had this way of carrying himself with this quiet assertiveness you only get through holding a high position for a long time. It was enough to effortlessly part the crowd in front of him.

He was taking off a pair of very expensive sunglasses, hooked them into the front of his shirt (revealing just a bit of his chest) and walked towards the bar. After ordering a drink, he lazily scanned the room.

He was a good-looking guy, dressed in that certain mixture of slackness and style that usually only the bosses and some lieutenants managed to pull off. He looked, frankly, like a badass. Derin tried to discern if his shoulders were really this broad or if this was just his leather jacket. The man slowly looked around the room a second time and saw Derin looking at him. His eyes narrowed for a second and he lifted an eyebrow. Recognition. That was it then. He took the two whiskeys and came over to Derin’s table.

The guy sat down opposite of Derin and pushed one of the drinks over to him. Derin hoped he didn’t blush while looking at him. Embarrassingly enough, he didn’t only look rich and badass, he looked hot. His hair was salted with the slightest hint of grey at his temples, and he had very steady amber eyes and the shadow of a scar on his cheek. He was probably battle proven. Most people his age were. The way he carried himself looked like he was a fighter, or at least had been. Derin stared at his shirt, trying to imagine what he looked like without it. Probably ripped. Then he shook himself out of this chain of thoughts. There was no place for these kinds of desires in the business. It only ever worked in fairytales. Derin Joans had stopped believing in fairytales many years ago.

“You,” the guy said, eyeing him intently over his drink, “are Derin Joans.”

Derin smiled. “I am. And you are Mr…”

“Solomon.”

“Nice to meet you.”

“My contacts told me about you,” Solomon continued, “I hear you move goods around.”

“Usually, yes.”

“And I hear you might be interested in working with us.”

“I don’t know. It does sound like a very good opportunity for both of us, so…”

“It does indeed. It is very hard to get a stable income in your business. We can provide that. If you turn out to be the right person for the kinds of jobs we want done.”

Derin met his gaze. He knew what the other man was probably thinking. They all thought it in the beginning, until he proved them wrong.

“I know I might seem a bit young. But I assure you, I’m anything but green.”

“You do look a bit green, yeah.”

“I have captained my first run when I was only fourteen. Been in the business ever since.” It had been an accident, back then. When the captain, his tormentor, had tragically (or not luckily, for Derin) died, he'd just stepped in. He'd secretely been dating the pilot at the time, and they had been able to get control of the ship. After that, one thing had just led to another.

“It is impressive for someone who, as I hear, moves in your circles, to survive seven years. It does make you an interesting choice. You have the tendency to neither get caught nor die, which seemingly makes you a good long-term investment.”

“And I don’t plan on being busted or dying in the foreseeable future.”

“I’ll drink to that.”

Derin Joans emptied his glass quickly, trying his hardest not to notice how attractive the lieutenant was. The hardest part about this job would probably be to not fantasize about this guy. Ridiculous. He could be his dad, age-wise. And just when he was finally sure he'd lost his appetite for older men.

“We want you to do a trial run, of course.”

“Of course.”

“I don’t like throwing instructions around in an open space. I also don’t like to send them. Some of our communications, even on secure channels, have been intercepted recently. Our organization has access to a private room. Let’s go there.”

Derin Joans thought about it for a couple of moments. This was potentially dangerous. For some reason though, he trustet Solomon. As far as you could trust a guy like him. And this was a really big chance. He needed to take it.

It was difficult, not staring at Solomon’s ass while he was leading him to the back room. He’d have to work off his horniness with Ragnar later. Also his daddy issues, he thought with a slight grin. Ragnar would have to pretend to be very interested in his sob stories.

As soon as he’d stepped into the back room, he knew he’d made a mistake. The doors closed behind him, and he heard them click shut. Of course it had been a trap. The lights went on and he saw a second man sitting behind a table, gun pointed at Derin’s head. Something about him was vaguely familiar. He tried reaching for his weapon, but he felt the cold metal of Solomon's – or whatever his name was – gun in the back of his neck. He threw his hands up in the air.

“I wouldn’t move if I were you,”, Solomon said and took Derin’s gun out of its holster. 

Shit. He’d been the best smuggler in the galaxy for a week. Now he was just an idiot who’d walked into the most obvious trap of all times.


	6. Second Lives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one in which Shepard uses his high Paragon score.

Shepard instantly felt sorry for Joans. He’d expected him to be young, and he also knew what kind of things he’d done, but still… This guy was a kid. He had studied Joans’ life story, at least what Liara had been able to find out about him, and his life had been so bad Shepard’s own youth seemed like an idyllic children’s story. This was the first generation after. They were just as impacted by the reapers in most cases.

Derin Joans looked his age. He was in his early twenties, soft black curls and somehow vaguely sad brown eyes. As soon as he saw him, Shepard knew this was one of his cases. He instantly decided Joans would be savable. He would be worth saving. He had to be.

“Sit down,” he said, making an inviting gesture towards the chair opposite of him. Kaidan searched Joans once more for weapons before he let him sit. Kaidan stayed there next to him, his gun trained on him, just towering over him, glaring. Shepard was still in awe at how threatening Kaidan could look. He’d need to get him a drink for that later.

“Do you know who I am?”, Shepard asked, making an effort to sound nice and fatherly. He put his gun aside. For once, it was a nice gesture. Also, he wouldn’t need it. Kaidan had his back.

“I don’t think we’ve met…” Joans frowned at Kaidan.

“Sorry for the deception, by the way,” Shepard said, “My friend here needed to get you to this room.”

“Should have known,” Joans said, “No one ever offers anyone like me a stable job.”

“No,” Kaidan said, “But you still fell for it.”

“So are you going to kill me, or what?” He eyed the gun that was still just inches away from his face.

“Kaidan…” Shepard gestured him to lower it. Then he turned his attention back to Joans. “My name is Shepard,” he continued, “You might have heard of me.”

Joans seemed to be thinking. “Don’t think so, no. I’ve only ever heard of the one guy named Shepard…” Sudden realization dawned on his face. “Oh. That’s you? You’re the one who,” He made an exploding gesture with his hands, “boom! the reapers?”

“Yes.”

“Cool.” He grinned. “I mean, this is bad. You know. For me. But it’s still kind of cool to meet you, I suppose. I’m a fan.”

Shepard smiled. “Thanks.”

“What do you want from me, though?”

“We want information,” Kaidan said, “And we have several ways of getting it. If you play along… we might just let you get away.”

Joans swallowed. “I’m not sure I know too much. I’m just a smuggler.”

“You recently smuggled an old friend of mine.” Shepard said.

Joans seemed to be thinking. “Whatever do you mean?”

“Javik,” Kaidan snapped, “You smuggled Javik. As a zoo animal.”

Joan’s eyes oscillated between Shepard and Kaidan. “Not sure I’m following.”

Shepard sighed. Joans was good at lying. As they all were.

“You know who we’re talking of. The prothean? Looks like this?” 

He conjured up a photograph of Javik and himself on his omni-tool. It had been taken half a year after the end of the war on earth. It was a promotional picture for an article on the last prothean, and Shepard and Javik were posing in front of the hollowed-out remnants of Harbinger.

“Come on,” Kaidan said, “You’re not telling me you don’t remember the guy? There’s no sense in lying. We know for a fact you had him.”

“We want to know where you brought him,” Shepard picked up, “We want to know how we can get there. We want to know who bought him.”

It made Derin Joans laugh. A bad sign. “Whoa whoa whoa. What? You’ve got to be kidding me.” He kept laughing, throwing his hands in the air. “Of course! That’s no problem at all! I’m going to tell you everything. Isn’t there anything else you need? Shouldn’t I, you know, fly you there and introduce you to the buyer, or maybe set up a vid call to your friend? It’s really no bother at all.”

Shepard sighed. He exchanged a quick glance with Kaidan and he saw his own feelings mirrored in his eyes.

“All right,” Shepard said, “Let’s start with an easy one. Who was your employer?”

Joans chuckled again. “I’m sorry, but I really can’t tell you.”

“Why not?”

“You don’t have any idea how dead I’m going to be if I sneak, do you? After the torture, that is.”

“Come on,” Kaidan said, “Aren't you just playing the victim here?”

“I’m not. Usually I would, but in this case, I assure you, I’m really not. You don’t know how dangerous this is. My employer – he is not one to be trifled with. If he feels double crossed, heads roll.”

“He never needs to know,” Shepard said.

“Oh, but he will. He always finds out that kind of stuff sooner or later. If you want me to give you information on him, you can wait for a long time. I’m not giving you anything. Do with me whatever you want.”

“You know we’re going to give you to the Alliance, right?” Kaidan asked, “You, in your career so far, have accumulated a lot of jail time. Depending on interpretation. You might just be in there for a very long time.”

“Well… yeah, of course you’re going to throw me in jail. I get to be alive though. I prefer that very much to the alternative.”

“What if we can protect you?” Shepard asked. He saw something glimmer in Joans’ eyes. Good.

“And how would you do that?”

Shepard scanned through Joan’s data one more time. “You have several talents, son. You could make an honest living. You could join the Alliance or get an education elsewhere. Live a real life. Not… this.”

“I happen to like my job. It’s interesting. I get around. I get to meet people. There’s always a new adventure to be had.”

“Those times are over,” Kaidan said.

“I’m afraid so, yes. But look, Shepard. Can I call you Shepard?”

Shepard nodded. He had the feeling this boy was somehow enjoying calling him by his name. As many people did.

“Even if I wanted to do the things you are offering. Which, for the record, I don’t. But if I wanted, I’d still be killed. The person you are after is the most dangerous person in the universe.”

“Some people would say that about me,” Shepard smiled, leaning back and folding his hands.

It made Joans laugh again. “Yeah. Right. You’re not dangerous. Not really. You’re Alliance. You’re the “Good Guys”. As long as everyone plays along with your agenda, of course. And if we don’t… Or we just don’t get lucky… Well… You’re usually still not nearly as dangerous as these people.”

“We’re not actually with the Alliance,” Shepard said, “We’re here on a private investigation. We just want our friend back.”

“So how the fuck would you protect me anyways?”

Shepard smiled. He was quite sure it would work. Joans already seemed to be turning.

“One of my best friends happens to be the Shadow Broker. Derin Joans would die today. You would assume a new identity. No one would ever know. You could get a clean slate, Derin Joans. Don’t you sometimes just want to start over?”

Joans didn’t meet his eyes.

“Derin,” Shepard started, “I know you were a war orphan. I know you never really had a choice. You were abducted from the orphanage as a child for cheap labor, you were raised in a gang. You got incredibly lucky to get out in some way, but you didn’t really get out, did you? You stayed in the business. Is this really the life you want? Always on the run? Never able to have any kind of stable relationship with other people? You never had the chance to make your own decisions. This is the point in your life where you can make a real decision. This is your one chance. Step up and take it.”

He was successful, he felt it. Kaidan gave him a warm smile. This was going surprisingly well.

“All right,” Joans said, after a solid minute of sitting there and thinking. “I’ll give you a name and a location. But you need to swear you’ll protect me.”

“We will protect you.”

“All right. The person I was working for, his name is Eric Prince. He doesn’t like the name though. He’s just known as “the Prince”. He’s probably one of the most dangerous people in the universe. And one of the most influential. If not the most influential. He is incredibly rich. He bought an entire solar system and colonized the planets to his own needs. He called it the Thanatos system. Like the Greek god of death. He has a bit of an obsession.”

“That sounds a bit ridiculous, to be honest,” Kaidan said.

“It might seem like he has delusions of grandeur, but let me tell you, it’s well warranted. Half the galaxy is in his pocket. Or more. Most people don’t know it, of course. He owns most of the big companies, or at least the companies that own them. He also owns many merc groups, he controls the flow of goods between gangs, he has lots of politicians in his pocket, and that without most people really taking him seriously. Most people don’t even know they’re working for him. He is indeed the prince of the galaxy.”

“How have I never heard of him?” Shepard asked.

“I think he’d probably not want you to. You’re still you, after all.”

“So how do we get to him?”

Joans chuckled again. “You don’t, of course. He barely leaves his solar system any more. And I have never seen anything like the defenses in his solar system. There’s mine fields, turrets, interference fields, planetary defenses, and an armada of armed guard ships who are just ready to fuck everyone who comes too close to the system. That’s only the stuff I know about. I don’t want to know what would have happened if I’d gone there without the IFF device he gave me. I really wouldn’t recommend you guys go there. It’s an outrageously bad idea.”

“All right. We’ll find another way.”

“Don’t. I’m telling you. Your friend – give him up as dead. You’re all going to be happier for it.”

“We can’t just give our friend up as dead. That’s not how it works.”

Joans shrugged. “If you say so. Going after the Prince also doesn’t work. People have tried. People have failed. Just because you are the great Shepard doesn’t mean you’ll be an exception. If you go after him, you’ll die, or worse.”

Shepard just sat there thinking for a couple of seconds. He wasn’t sure he believed any of the things Joans was saying. He’d have to check with Liara later.

“What about the seller?” Kaidan asked, finally, “Who sold Javik? Did you meet them?”

“Oh yes. He was very nice, actually. A Professor Lanik Drilo.”

“I've heard of him…” Shepard said. Something about his name sounded familiar.

“He’s published several texts on protheans. He’s the leading salarian specialist on all things prothean.”

“Of course!” Now that Shepard thought about it, he was sure Lanik Drilo had contacted him two or three times over the last ten years or so, asking for his participation in a study on prothean communication devices. The way his invitations had been written, Shepard had never felt the inclination to meet him, or help him in his questionable experiments. He’d instead just pointed him to Liara’s and Javik’s books on the matter.

“I don’t know what knowing him gets you, though,” Joans said.

“Well, it’s not exactly your business, is it?”

“That is true. I don’t even care. I just want your protection.”

“Is there anything else you can tell us?”

“I’m not sure. How about this: I’ll wrap up my business on Omega as quickly as possible, and I’ll meet you on your ship. You think of more questions, and you can ask them later.”

Shepard pondered this. If the guy was lying, he'd get away.

"I'm sorry, but you can't just walk around. For one, you could get away. And if this guy is as dangerous as you say, you'd better not be alone out there. We'll bring you to our ship, lock the doors and post guards there. That's my offer. Take it or leave it."

Derin Joans nodded. "Alright. It's probably safer. Let's go."

~~~

They brought Joans to their ship and posted some of Aria's guards with him. She wasn't exactly happy about it, but once they reminded her of a couple of old debts, she complied. They were still something adjacent to friends, after all. Since Joans was now in their cabin, they had to go back to the backroom to have another private conversation.

“Do you think anything he said was true?” Kaidan asked, after locking the doors.

“I’m not sure. Let’s ask someone who knows.”

He looked the room over for surveillance, then he called Liara. 

“Did it work? Did you get through to him?” Liara asked, as soon as the call connected.

“I did. He told us a guy who calls himself “The Prince” has bought Javik.”

Liara’s face dropped.

“So… I guess he was telling the truth, surprising as that may be,” Shepard continued.

“If this Prince-person is involved… Then saving Javik might be an impossible task. The prince is one of the very few people who scare me. He is utterly mad, and he owns basically everything. At this point, it sometimes feels like half my agents are actually his.”

“We thought we might have a chat with the scientist who sold Javik first. Lanik Drilo.”

Liara shook her head in disgust. “That guy. He is also bad. Not dangerous though. You can handle him. You might find out some interesting things. Maybe Javik was able to leave a message. Snoop around.”

She sighed and typed something into a keybord outside of their view. “I’m going to find a way to get to the Prince. I promise you. It is going to take time, though. It is going to be incredibly dangerous. And we are basically going to be alone in this. There’s no one who will be willing to help you.”

“Some old friends might help us, maybe.”

“Yes. Maybe. But this is not one of those missions we used to do back then. This is going to be incredibly complicated and dangerous and we have to be very, very careful.”

Kaidan laughed. “Right. Nothing back then was ever complicated or dangerous and we never had to be careful.”

“I mean it,” Liara said, “This is nothing you can shoot your way out of. Please. Leave it to me. Don’t talk to people about it. Not even our old friends. We shouldn’t put them in danger without need.”

“All right,” Shepard said, “We’re going to talk to the scientist and we’re going to lie low.”

“I can’t believe Derin Joans wasn’t lying,” Kaidan said.

“It’s surprising, yes. Liara, can you get him the new identity?”

“Of course. He’s going to be a different man tomorrow.”

“I don’t like the fact that he’s getting away with all the things he’s done,” Kaidan said.

“Me neither, not really” Shepard agreed, “I’ve never really regretted giving people a chance, though. I’ll just keep an eye on him.”

“A new project for Shepard,” Liara smiled, “Anyways: I’ll get back to work. Take care.”

~~~

As soon as she was offline, Kaidan took Shepard’s hand. “You know I love you so much, right?”

“What brought that on?”

“I just… I still get surprised sometimes by how good you are. You want to save his soul, don’t you.” 

“I do, kind of. I don’t think he’s evil. He’s just had a very fucked up life. But I know enough people who aren’t defined by that.”

Shepard lost himself for a couple of seconds in the soft smile around Kaidan’s amber colored eyes.

“You know, I always get surprised by how threatening you can be. And you pulled that deception off without effort. I think I want to buy you a drink.”

“Why, thank you. You know, I think I learned more about this being a teacher than being a soldier. Isn’t that weird?”

It made Shepard chuckle. “Well, I certainly wouldn’t miss the deadline on your papers.”

“People usually don’t.”

“Let’s get you a drink. I think I need to take my mind of this stuff."

~~~

While they were sitting in the VIP lounge, sipping their whiskeys, Shepard studied Kaidan’s face for any sign of his breakdown only two days ago. He could see some shadow of exhaustion on him, but it was probably invisible to everyone else.

They specifically talked about other things than the political situation or the task before them. They’d grown good at this over the last decades. After an hour or so, Shepard finally started to feel a bit more relaxed. This was nice. Reminiscent of the old times. He couldn’t help but think of all the times they’d been here before. He also felt like the luckiest man in the room, considering his date.

Then they were interrupted. A person Shepard didn’t recognize hurried into the room and slumped down on a chair at their table. He was a slender young human with short black hair, almost translucently white skin, and glasses framing his striking blue eyes. He was wearing inconspicuous clothes and a baseball cap.

“You need to get me off this station,” he said.

“What?”, Shepard asked.

He saw the same confusion on Kaidan’s face.

“Come on,” the man said, “My disguise isn’t that good.” He took of his glasses for a second and put them on again.

“Ragnar,” Shepard almost exclaimed, but he was instantly shushed.

“No. Kyle. I’m a student of economics.” He lowered his voice to a whisper. “My cover is blown. You need to get me off the station. Shit. I really liked this job. But hey… I knew what I was getting into. Just didn’t think this particular thing would finally do it for me. Derin Joans? Really? He was a nice kid, but he didn’t seem all that important. Anyways: The Broker wants me to go to earth. They want you to take me with you.”

“Alright. Of course.” 

Ragnar, no Kyle, visibly relaxed. “Thank you.”

“What happened?” Kaidan asked.

“I just got a call from one of the other agents that apparently someone told someone that I wasn’t just who I pretended to be. I’m not sure if it’s your fault. Maybe you were too obvious. Maybe it’s just a coincidence. It’s the risk you get used to in the business.”

"We should probably get you out of sight as soon as possible, right?"

Kyle nodded. "I'm sorry to interrupt your date. Seems like you two were having a nice time."

"It's alright."

They emptied their glasses and got up.

Shepard was watching Kyle while walking to their docking port. The change that had come over him was amazing. Yesterday, every movement had looked delicate and self-confident. You wouldn't recognize him now, he looked like a very insecure nerd. Liara obviously had her reasons in trusting him with the more important jobs.

They heard the commotion before they saw it. Shepard sped up, suddenly getting the sick feeling that this had gone too smoothly for it not to go really wrong now. He was right. Once he parted the crowd, he saw him.

Shepard’s heart was gripped with that all too well-known cold feeling of finality and guilt. Not only was Derin Joans dead. He was hanged, on display, right on the wall of their ship’s airlock. A message for them. Even though he knew it was futile, Shepard went and checked for life signs. He must have been dead for minutes at least. Then he noticed what was off about his face and a sudden wave of nausea came over him. His forehead had been branded. The hexagonal shape was unmistakable. He heard Kaidan's gasp next to him when he recognized it as well. They stared at it for several seconds.

“Cerberus?” Kaidan finally got out what Shepard was thinking, “It can’t be.”

“How… How can this possibly… How can this possibly be Cerberus?” They hadn’t been around for twenty years. Cerberus had been dissolved when he’d killed the reapers. He hadn’t heard from them in a long, long time. It was impossible.

Kyle had started typing on his omni-tool frantically. Then he looked up at them, frowning. “Looks like they’re back."


End file.
